Noob in MNB2

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m (What Does a N00B Think of Sarge: little change in text)
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#When a Wespe comes, he sends a soldier in front of it because he thinks that the soldier will stick his finger in the wespe's gun and block the shell.
#When a Wespe comes, he sends a soldier in front of it because he thinks that the soldier will stick his finger in the wespe's gun and block the shell.
#When he sees a Wespe, he sends all of his NCO's out of his bunker to make the Wespe thinks he's overwhelmed.
#When he sees a Wespe, he sends all of his NCO's out of his bunker to make the Wespe thinks he's overwhelmed.
#He thinks a Wespe is actually a giant wasp wich can poison your units with a giant sting.
#He thinks a Wespe is actually a giant wasp which can poison your units with a giant sting.
#He thinks those German officers are Jewish.
#He thinks those German officers are Jewish.
#He thinks Tigers are his missing pets.
#He thinks Tigers are his missing pets.

Revision as of 21:16, 5 May 2012


Noob in MNB2

Noob in MNB
Icon noob.gif
The N00B hangout

The Complete and Total guide to acting stupid in Mud and Blood 2. This guide is made to unleash the inner noob in everybody. Strategies that you know are going to fail, but you are just so eager to try!

Also, in the case of a wiki "lockdown", where almost every page gets to a level of protection, this will probably be one of the only safe-havens for newly registered users to edit.

This guide is purely made to be funny, not offensive to anybody who may try these extremly N00B strategies out of knowledge and not insulting such persons.

Weapons, Beliefs, and What the N00B Does with them

  1. He gives BARs to inexperienced units with grenades and rifle grenades, sometimes leaving experienced ones with nothing but a stupid shotgun.
  2. He arms inexperienced soldiers with grenades and rifle grenades, with horrible effect of course.
  3. He gives Frenchies shotguns, then puts them at the very bottom of the screen.
  4. He thinks a Tommy gun is the most accurate and long range weapon ever.
  5. He thinks Springfields are rapid-fire lazer guns with explosive bullets.
  6. He puts shotguns in the back because he thinks they have longest range.
  7. He gives BARs to French men and then sends them on sabotage missions.
  8. He never arms experienced soldiers with grenades because he thinks it is idiotic.
  9. He thinks rifle grenades are ideal against tanks. And when he sees a tank and he has 8 TP he waste all his TP on rifle grenades.
  10. He tries to give the Germans!
  11. He think the guns in-game fire paint balls and the soldiers die of the pain.
  12. He tries to give tommy gun to the Germans.
  13. He wonders why there aren't any Sten guns or Bren guns.
  14. He thinks the Germans get deployed with shotguns.
  15. He wonders why there are no Miniguns or Auto Shotguns in the game.
  16. He thinks the BAR has a 200 round belt.
  17. He thinks the shotgun has the most range in the game.
  18. He thinks the M3 Grease Gun fires grease
  19. He thinks when people have flame-throwers they "throw" flame
  20. He thinks when a soldier has rifle grenades the rifle is a grenade.
  21. He thinks that it is possible to give Sherman Tank a BAR.
  22. He thinks that Tommy gun is a cheat and never gives it to his soldiers.
  23. He thinks that the Pistol is the most powerful weapon in the game, able to kill every Jerry in one shot, no matter of Rifle level.
  24. He wonders why he can't give his guns to Germans.
  25. He thinks that giving SpecOps a BAR and Heroism will make him invisible, indestructible and completely immune to Naval Artillery.
  26. He tries to give BAR to the Sniper.
  27. He thinks it is possible to buy Scoped Springfield and Bazooka.
  28. He thinks that Springfield has an ammo belt of 1000 bullets.
  29. He thinks that a Springfield bullet is enough to wreck a tank.
  30. He thinks that its possible to buy MP-40 and Kar98k.
  31. He thinks that Frenchies can destroy a tank if they are armed with Springfield.
  32. He thinks that frenchies can shoot down a plane.
  33. He thinks friendly fire is friendly.
  34. He wonders why a Tiger does not blow up when an officer fires at it with his pistol
  35. He tries to give a .50cal upgrade to a jeep, or a Fifty
  36. He tries to take a mortar away from a mortar trooper

Allied Units, Beliefs and how the N00B punishes them

Allied Unit
The N00B
Std unit allied french idle.gif
No specialty icon
Starting equipment:
Average stats:
Health Rifle Exp Morale Speed
50 1-2 -1 1 1px/s
A weak, pathetic, worthless meatshield. Very prone to running away and is stupid as hell, considered a threat to himself like the other guy.
  1. When he sees one of his soldiers get killed he yells, "I'M ON YOUR FRIGGIN' TEAM!"
  2. He always places Flamethrowers in a bunker filled with officer ranked SpecOps.
  3. He thinks that when he sends an inexperienced Frenchie to sabotage, he will kill Hitler, destroy Berlin and will survive to serve again.
  4. When he sent a Frenchie to sabotage. He thinks Hitler screamed and then sound the MP-40. And then he thinks the Frenchie killed a Waffen-SS, got the MP-40.
  5. He uses a flamethrower to suicide on enemy troops and vehicles, but most the time, before he reaches anything, he dies first by the closest Panzergrenadier Volkssturm.
  6. He deploys Frenchies. ONLY.
  7. He loves to put valuable troops into arty/bomb range "BECAUSE IT IS FUN T0 SEE GUTS FALLING EVERYWHERE!!"
  8. He buys mortars when his troops are at the top of the screen.
  9. He bunches 5 mortars under a cam-net and yells at his computer when they don't work.
  10. He thinks Frenchies are the best units.
  11. After buying a tank , he sends it perfectly in front of Panzershrecks and mortars.
  12. After buying a Jeep , he sends it very close to enemy MG gunners or Panzergrenadiers and Leibstandarte (in extreme situations : perfectly near Tiger Tanks).
  13. After buying a SpecOps and he has 10 TP left , he doesn't ranger train the SpecOps , he just spends it all for Naval arty , and if he survives for some really strange reason , he just keeps open for the enemy to kill him.
  14. If he buys an AAA and wants to place it somewhere , he places it PERFECTLY at end of map's upper side.
  15. He orders a rocket launcher, then decides to move his men up to get a TP.
  16. He retreats his best solders to "train the inexperienced ones".
  17. He thinks putting troops behind boulders and in trees makes them vulnerable.
  18. He thinks putting troops in flammable areas will increase defense against flamethrowers.
  19. He believes officers can change weapons.
  20. He thinks Spec. Ops. are all clones.
  21. He thinks that a scout is the slowest unit.
  22. He thinks that the signaller is the fastest unit.
  23. He thinks a jeep has more armor than a tank.
  24. He puts mortars in front, then screams when he thinks they are taking a nap because they lay down.
  25. He puts mortars in back, then screams when they kill his own men
  26. He thinks a Sherman tank will say "sure man".
  27. He arms Frenchies with Thompson SMGs at the bottom of the map and complains when they don't hit anything.
  28. He deploys bazooka men in the back lines of his defense, then he wonders why he killed his own units.
  29. As soon as he sees a soldier with decent rifle and morale he uses tactical retreat because he thinks it will get him 20 TP.
  30. He thinks that 50 cals are indestructible.
  31. He deploys frenchies because blue is his favorite color.
  32. He thinks that putting units in pillboxes makes them fire faster.
  33. He wishes the solders would really use the toothpaste.
  34. He thinks that land mattress can launch people to the enemy position.
  35. He puts a mortar in front of his troops because they cause explosions.
  36. He thinks that he can designate targets no matter how many times the tips tell him it's not true.
  37. He tells his engineer to kamikaze an Opel Blitzwagen.
  38. That same engineer is killed by the 1 Volkstrumm passenger.
  39. He strongly believes the medic uses the medigun in TF2!!
  40. When he gets the rank of MnB General, he spends his TP's on 5 Land Mattress's.
  41. He thinks that getting anyone to officer rank will turn them into an officer, so he withdraws his officer ranked-gunner
  42. He spams the field with Frenchies to get a Spec. Ops. without the Special Operations Ribbon.
  43. He is a stout believer that "everyone can be a minesweeper," but didn't read the "once" after that.
  44. He sends high-ranking soldiers to fulfill his belief, and to be a guide for newbie troops.
  45. He thinks a Land Mattress is a type of bed for the soldiers.
  46. He never deploys SpecOps because he hates the color Red.
  47. He never deploys Medics because he hates the sight of bloodied Bandages.
  48. He never deploys Sarge, jeeps, or tanks because he hates the color green.
  49. He thinks he can reassemble gibbed troops by retrieving their organs and stitching them together.
  50. He doesn't see the units pants so he thinks it doesn't show it because they're pulled down! But when the fall down they're pants come back up.
  51. He thinks that Hitler is their commander.
  52. He calls two spec ops and a paratrooper squadron in a forested area with 3 axis gunners coming in to kill infantry
  53. He Screams in terror as the paratroopers get shredded by trees and his spec ops by the gunners who deployed
  54. He thinks that putting mortars under a cam net will make them Stealth mortars
  55. He wonders why his mortars won't fire....
  56. He puts his zooks in bunkers.
  57. He wonders why they won't fire....
  58. He thinks "Eureka!" as he realizes it's because they are under a cam net, but then they get killed by a tank before he can get em out
  59. He puts spec ops where snipers should be,and leaves his snipers in a pillbox "B3C4USE ! D0N'7 W2N7 T0 L0$3 M7Y PR3S0US SN!P3RS!"
  60. He tries to run over Germans with vehicles.
  61. He never deploys vehicles to the battle because he thinks that they are for noobs. (Wait what?)
  62. He thinks that by not deploying vehicles he will earn a promotion for saving the vehicles.
  63. He thinks by giving sarge nothing but a Springfield, H3 W1LL B3 7H3 M0S7 1337 SN1P3R 3V3R11!!1
  64. He thinks when the screen says "Germans changed their Tactics!", it means instead of trying to kill him, they will join him and fight for him.
  65. He thinks that by spamming Frenchies, he can easily win against the Germans AND get a promotion in the process!
  66. He thinks by ordering a Artillery Strike with more than 1 TP, he will be given a nuke.
  67. He thinks by giving a SpecOps grenades, he will spam SOOOO many that the Germans will surrender!
  68. He reads the "Noob in MNB2" Section EVERY DAY RELIGIOUSLY to see what to do next as Commanding N00B.
  69. He thinks that instead of giving his soldiers more Ammo to fight the Germans, he will give all of them Bibles to throw at the Germans.(Even though we all know that Hitler and most other Germans were Christian.)
  70. He thinks that the half-track is just a half of a truck so he never deploys one.
  71. He thinks that if he buys two half-trucks, he can turn them into a whole track.
  72. He then sees that he cant buy two half-tracks so he clicks it so much he gets another one.
  73. He immediately executes any officers that *somehow* rank up to first lieutenant, because he thinks they will take control.
  74. He thinks that promoted officers will also promote him, because he is sending himself onto the field as that officer, right?
  75. He is furious that his men come with a low rifle skill so he places them around a TNT charge and gibs them all, then regrets doing it.

What Does a N00B Think of Sarge

  1. He thinks that Sarge is a non-smoker.
  2. He thinks that Sarge will feed his officers with powdered milk.
  3. He thinks Sarge will demoralize his troop because he yells at them all the time.
  4. He asks his Sarge to withdraw because he smokes too much.
  5. He thinks Sarge is Francis in L4D.
  6. He thinks that Sarge was eating steroids , that's why he has 125 health now.
  7. He thinks Sarge can throw pipe bombs and Molotov Cocktails.
  8. He thinks Sarge can throw nukes at the Germans.
  9. He wonders what happened to Zoey, Bill, and Louis.
  10. He gives sarge a shotgun due to that is Francis's favorite gun.
  11. He thinks, due to his description, Sarge will rearrange his furni-... I mean troops when not looking.
  12. He thinks that whenever Sarge smokes, he will lose 1 health.
  13. He thinks he can hire more than one Sarge, even when it tells him he can't.
  14. He manages to click so much it actually hires two Sarges for him.
  15. He thinks that since Sarge gives exp to officers and morale to soldiers, he must give armor to vehicles!
  16. He strongly believes Sarge is Charles de Gaulle of the french resistance.
  17. He thinks Sarge increases the amount of troops coming down because "he makes everything more!"
  18. He thinks making sarge pulls his pants down will scare Germans and Wespes and so as HITLER!!!
  19. He thinks he comes in the lowest rifle of them all!
  20. He thinks that Sarge will never rank up due to his name.
  21. He calls Sarge a liar when he (somehow) ranks up.
  22. He thinks that Sarge will die randomly of lung disease mid-battle.
  23. He thinks Sarge will kill a Wespe from staring at it
  24. He yells at Sarge when he's standing in front of a Wespe and he gets slaughtered.
  25. He thinks you can spam Sarges.
  26. He thinks that Sarge is French.
  27. He thinks Volkssturm beat Sarge in CQC when Sarge has bayonet and CQC ribbon.
  28. He uses tactical retreat on Sarge if Sarge has a bayonet and tons of infiltrators and zombies are coming because he thinks frenchies are more ideal.
  29. He thinks he is the hero of the war by killing his troops by sending artillery strikes and bombarding and giving them no weapons but a Springfield.
  30. He uses paratroopers in a forest!
  31. He thinks a soldier cant rank up to sergeant, because there is only one Sarge
  32. he thinks Sarge is french for charge

What N00B thinks of Frenchies

  1. He thinks they have the highest rifle.
  2. He thinks they come in 500 health.
  3. He thinks a Frenchie goes around kissing the Germans on their checks.
  4. He thinks they cost 12 points like Sarge and can only be deployed once.
  5. He thinks that he can make his soldiers eat the pizza when the Frenchie gets killed.
  6. He thinks that after he sabatoges, the Frenchie kills a Waffen SS and Hitler screamed!
  7. He never deploys Frenchies because he d03sN7 w4n7 7h3m t0 g3t hUr7!1!!
  8. He thinks Frenchies serves frenchfries that makes soldiers NCO.
  9. He thinks that Frenchies are ideal for fighting infiltrators and zombies in CQC.
  10. He thinks Frenchies are great long range rifle grenadiers so he puts his most valuable men in front of them and screams when the Frenchies kill his men.
  11. He uses them to get Halloween and CQC ribbon without giving them any bayonets.
  12. He wonders why that Frenchies have 75 health.
  13. He thinks that Frenchies are the best units ever in the Mud and blood series.
  14. He thinks that Frenchie WILL Sabotage a German HQ when it is 0 EXP
  15. He then gets a Frenchie and a Officer and sends the Frenchie right behind German lines after deploy
  16. He then wonders why is there gunfire and screaming

What the N00B does with Land Mattresses

  1. He puts them in a Pillbox for protection.
  2. He places them at the top of the screen to "pound German lines."
  3. He thinks they are controlled by the Germans.
  4. He thinks his men can sleep on one.
  5. He tries to remove the metal from one to "give his men a more comfortable rest."
  6. He thinks it can shoot at airplanes.
  7. He pulls it back because "I7 w0n7 de57r0y 7h3 7anks!"
  8. He thinks that it is the most armored unit in the game.
  9. He puts a land mattress way at the back and puts all his men at the front and fires the land mattress.
  10. He then screams and shoots at the PC when the land mattress bows up his troops

Orders, beliefs, and how the N00B "uses" them

Xx command 2order 08morale.gif
Officer(preferably experienced)
Lowers exp, rifle, and morale, at a chance to get the N00Bification Medal
A morale boost taken to brainwashing.....but in a non-helpful way. It makes the soldiers forget why they fight, become dependent on their officer, and eventually die.
  1. He orders concentrate fire on Volksturmms when there are 3 MG-42 gunners out there.
  2. He never tries to hide from arty and bombs.
  3. If he somehow survives bombs and/or arty, better Panzergrenadiers will kill his men before he will put them back in positions.
  4. He taunts whenever there's a Tiger Tank or Wespe on the screen.
  5. When he sees a Blitz Wave , he quits (extreme situation: he sends Naval Arty , and before it explodes , he quits.)
  6. When he gets over 6 troops, he bunches them in and around mushrooms.
  7. He puts 20 Frenchies under one Cam Net and taunts until he sees a Leib come.
  8. He uses the "All around defense" command in 'critical' situations with no enemy troops.
  9. He thinks swearing at the Germans will make them all run away.
  10. He thinks taunting the Germans will scare the next wave away.
  11. When an enemy tank appears, he orders tactical withdraw to all his bazookas and mortars.
  12. When he is 2nd Lieutenant (read: always) he is trying to use Last Stand option.
  13. When a Tiger comes, he sends his men on top of it because he thinks that his men will climb inside and clear it out.
  14. He pressed 2-6 when he saw the D-day map.
  15. He orders his men to walk over his own mines, thinking it will make them a super-soldier.
  16. When a Wespe appears he will try to stick a spec ops hand into the shell.
  17. He orders his men to ride an Opel blitz .
  18. He orders his men to sit down with the Germans for a cup of coffee.
  19. He wants to steal the Brandenburg uniforms, so he puts his men up into close range with them.
  20. He thinks that the "Incoming arty!" message means he has to send all his troops out of his bunker.
  21. He tries to Tactical Withdraw a Wespe.
  22. He removes his men out of the Pillbox when he's being attacked by arty.(Having mistaken it for a bunker)
  23. The version is now 2.2.7a so now he starts to deploy vehicles.
  24. When he needs heavy firepower he sends in a jeep,instead of a tank or the halftrack
  25. He will use tanks during massive infantry waves.
  26. He tries to command the Germans to Hold Fire!
  27. He tries selling gibbed soldiers' body parts for tactical points.
  28. He orders morale boost to an soldier with over 500 morale!

Things the N00B does with a Half-Track

  1. He buys a half-track, then leaves it sitting around gathering dust.
  2. He starts to use the half-track, but believes the fifty on it is a uber fifty when in fact all it will do is fire it's machine-gun at enemies. But it will not destroy tanks.
  3. If a Panzer Company Blitz comes and he has a half-track, he will invest all his TP into turning into a field hospital.
  4. He believes the half-track can carry all mods so he tries to equip with a quad cannon, a field hospital and a AT cannon.
  5. He curses and screams then starts crying as he realizes it replaces it's old mod with the new mod.
  6. He believes the quad cannon can shoot rockets and hence buys it most of the time.
  7. He tries to make 6 half-tracks and equip them with AT cannon.
  8. He Gives it a Field Hospital mod and sends it all the way behind a minefield he build
  9. He gives it a quad fifty, then drives it in front of a Panzershreck and leaves it there.
  10. He does not upgrade the halftrack, because he thinks its gonna be too heavy to move.

Constructions, Beliefs, and Why the N00B Builds Them

Std structure fieldhq extra.gif
  • Commanded by N00Bs
  • More fragile than fragile.
  • Can change gameplay in bizarre ways...
  • Can be ordered to help a commander achieve rank "N00B"
A N00B's commanding structure.
  1. He places his HQ tent all the way into the enemy lines.
  2. He never lays any TNT and Booby Traps with engineers "B3C4US3 1 D0NT W4NN4 L0S3 M0N3H!"
  3. He lays Cam Nets in waves with a lot of German Re-cons.
  4. He puts Land mattresses in Pillboxes.
  5. He thinks a Field HQ is the best defensive structure.
  6. He thinks placing snipers in a trenched bunker will increase firing rate.
  7. He protects his men from grenades with a cam-net.
  8. He thinks hiding in a bunker will protect him from a V-1.
  9. He thinks sandbags protect against arty.
  10. He thinks a HQ tent will give him double as much TP it gave him when it is captured or destroyed.
  11. He waits until he has gained lots of TP, then sets multiple TNTs around it.
  12. He watches the "firework display",as he calls it.
  13. He then wonders why his TP is -25.
  14. He thinks that cam-nets are the best defense against bullets.
  15. He thinks trenches protect your men best when they are in grenade range.
  16. He thinks bunkers protect against flamethrowers.
  17. He puts an AAA below a pillbox to keep it safe.
  18. He thinks the trench can give a faster fire rate to the mortar than the mortar pit.
  19. He thinks using an antenna gives a force-field to protect his men.
  20. He thinks that MG gunners are best in a pillbox as opposed to a bunker.
  21. He is wondering why his men can't grab the tommy gun on the palisade.
  22. He lays barbed wire on his engineer.
  23. He puts a sarge and a NOOB officer inside a pillbox so nobody can interfere sarge while he is teaching his officer.
  24. He thinks your men CAN'T shoot out of a sandbag.
  25. He thinks a bunker is a sandbag and because of the top he doesn't build them.

Medals, What They Do, and How the N00B Thinks You Can Get Them

Honorary N00Bification
Icon noob.gif
Be the best N00B
Unlocks "The N00B" and a new game mode, "teddy time"!
Real Life Medal?
  1. When he see that he got a medal, he cries: I LOVE YOU M0M or NAZIS R0CK!!!
  2. He thinks the Bronze Star gives his units invincibility.
  3. He thinks the Maneuver Ribbon gives his tanks a giant LLAAZZUUUURRR!
  4. He really thinks you musteat all those pies to get the "I like Pie" medal and tries it in one go!!!
  5. He ate 250 freshly baked McDonalds apple pies while playing MnB 2 and is still waiting for the I Like Pie medal.
  6. He wants his refund for 250 apple pies from McDonald's and all the stomach medicine for when he got sick.
  7. He thinks he gets the i like pie ribbon on his first crate.
  8. He thinks that when he gets the "Tank Killer" badge, all tanks die on contact with his cursor.
  9. He thinks getting the "BBQ" badge enables BBQ parties.
  10. He thinks getting the Kyoto Ribbon will cause a total global warming catastrophe the day after he gets it!
  11. he thinks getting the Kyoto Ribbon will make all the trees indestructible!!
  12. He thinks that if you complete 50% of these "missions," you win the Ultimate Noobiness Badge making the game fair.
  13. He thinks that "Ultimate Noobiness" will make him win.
  14. He thinks that you can get a medal for blown up 100 rocks.
  15. He thinks Guerrilla Warfare medal is earned by building a fort.
  16. He thinks Guerrilla Warfare is Gorilla Warfare.
  17. He thinks that there is a medal for hiring 500 Frenchies
  18. He thinks the only way to get a Halloween ribbon is "trick or treat" the Germans.
  19. He thinks he can kill a tank with a pistol to earn the German's pistol. ( Captain Miller from Saving Private Ryan, anybody? )
  20. He thinks he can get the Remembrance Day Ribbon by remembering the last time he played MnB.
  21. He wonders why people make such a big fuss over the Victoria Cross, and thinks he could earn it in one game, easy!
  22. He thinks CQC is the best way to get the Halloween Ribbon.
  23. He thinks you can get Urb's anatomy by blowing up your own men, and thus does so.
  24. He is going for Guerrilla Warfare when he sees Santa and calls in naval artillery.
  25. He thinks that the only way to get the guerrilla warfare ribbon is to deploy gorrilas!

Landscape Features and How The N00B Thinks of Them

  1. He thinks those white smoke clouds are chloride gas.
  2. He thinks mushrooms on the battlefield will provide extra experience points.
  3. He thinks the leaves are mines.
  4. If he doesn't like the current terrain of the battlefield he surrenders.
  5. He clumps his men around Mushrooms.
  6. He thinks logs provide cover.
  7. He thinks dead trees provide cover.
  8. He thinks dud stands for "Dummies Underestimate Duds", because he does. Really.
  9. He thinks ponds provide water support.
  10. He thinks ponds provide water for his men's canteens.
  11. He tells his men to eat those mushrooms so it makes his men bigger, and even throw fireballs.
  12. He thinks that land-mines are ration tins.
  13. He thinks duds are supply crates so he bunches his man around it so they can obtain the supply.
  14. He wonders why there isn't any rain.
  15. He wonders why there isn't any grass, not realizing the entire screen is green...
  16. He thinks he can command his men throw rocks at the Germans!
  17. He thinks he can use dropped weapons and asks a mortar to pick up a dud V1!!
  18. He thinks mushrooms are duds that will create huge mushroom cloud explosions.
  19. He thinks bulletholes provide cover.

Axis Units and What the N00B Cares to Do With Them

Axis Unit
Std unit axis volkssturm idle.gif
Average stats:
Health Rifle Exp
50 1 0
Morale Speed Priority
-1 1 px/s ?
Coward, N00B.
A German N00B equivalent. They have better exp, but worse rifle/morale. Considered a threat to himself.
  1. He complains that there are bugs in the game when he cannot order Panzergrenadiers, Wehrmacht, or Volkssturm to fight with him.
  2. Whenever he sees 10 Volkssturm , he exits.
  3. Whenever he sees an Opel Blitzwagen or a Sd. Kfz. 251, he quits.
  4. He thinks Hitler, Himmler, Goering and Jodl are the enemies in Wave 100
  5. He thinks Wespes and Tigers are easy, mainly because he's never had to fight one.
  6. He thinks Volkssturm are super soldiers with 1000 health and 1000 rifle and 1000 morale.
  7. He wonders why there aren't any Japanese soldiers.
  8. He thinks light infiltrators have dual MG34s.
  9. He calls 15 Panzergrenadiers an OMGWTFBBQ Blitz wave!
  10. He thinks tiger tanks are controlled by tigers.
  11. When he sees a Tiger Tank , he deletes you , then your mother , then your dad and finally he deletes your house.
  12. When a Wespe comes, he sends a soldier in front of it because he thinks that the soldier will stick his finger in the wespe's gun and block the shell.
  13. When he sees a Wespe, he sends all of his NCO's out of his bunker to make the Wespe thinks he's overwhelmed.
  14. He thinks a Wespe is actually a giant wasp which can poison your units with a giant sting.
  15. He thinks those German officers are Jewish.
  16. He thinks Tigers are his missing pets.
  17. He thinks those German pilots are the mines, so he tells his men not to get too close.
  18. He sends his officer spec-ops out of his bunker to try and CQC a flak tank.
  19. He sends his officer spec-ops to try to "take over" tiger tanks and Wespes
  20. He thinks there is something fun about Wespes.
  21. He thinks zombies are very easy to kill like the ones in L4D.
  22. He moves his men to zombies to get them infected, move past the German lines, and eat Hitler.
  23. He believes that the panzerschreck is so accurate he won't even deploy vehicles.
  24. He thinks there is something very funny about the Wespe .
  25. He thinks assault pioneers are the worst German unit.
  26. When he see's a VolkN00B (As seen on the right) he instantly quits.
  27. His squad gets OWNED by a Volksstrum.
  28. He thinks a Flakpanzer drives on kerosine

How the N00B Thinks the Germans Hacked the Game

Axis Unit
Jerry Hacker
Std unit axis ssleibstandarte idle.gif
AK-47, Re-con equipment, Game's control module
Average stats:
Health Rifle Exp
9999+ 9999 9999
Morale Speed Priority
9999 19 px/s ?
Yikes! This guy kicks butt and does it in style. Don't stare him down! He hacks the game like the rules on the left.
  1. He has *Cough* magic bad luck of his Frenchies falling in a bunker filled with elite soldiers while burning.
  2. He thinks that a Total Blitzkrieg is a type of enemy unit.
  3. He wonders why there aren't any Nazi zombies, so he adds some (Then he realizes that there are and runs away screaming)!
  4. He thinks that Tiger I is a German cheat, and fixes the Tank.
  5. He thinks talking to the game will promote him.
  6. He thinks that when he wins the Germans hacked the game.
  7. He thinks that surrendering means that he makes the enemy quit and that then he can declare victory.
  8. He thinks that Blitz Wave is a cheat, and makes it so!
  9. He wants the game to have auto-turrets, so he builds some.
  10. He wants AK-47's for the Germans.
  11. When he saw the word "Brandenburg" on the screen of MNB2, he thought he got a ribbon that can stop Germans from hacking.
  12. When he saw he had the word "Wanker" on his rank screen. He thought it was a rank to make the Germans stop hacking.

Blitz Waves, what the N00B thinks of them and how he abuses them

  1. He calls 20TPs worth of naval artillery on a Volkssturm blitz.
  2. He gives large amounts of exp to soldiers on a sniper blitz wave.
  3. He builds bunkers over his soldiers on a combined arms blitz
  4. He calls 5 Frenchies when he gets an arty blitz wave.
  5. He Surrenders when he sees a Volkssturm Blitz.
  6. He thinks he wins the game if he beats the OMGWTFBBQ blitz wave
  7. He thinks the sniper blitz is the easiest blitz in the game.
  8. He waves his hands with joy when he gets an arty blitz wave
  9. He thinks that spamming Frenchies is the best way to counter a Waffen SS Blitz.

What the N00B Does With Support

  1. When he finally gets 20 TP, he busts it on Naval Artillery without ever building a bunker or pillbox.
  2. He thinks V-1 Rockets carry supplies and that crates explode when you get near them.
  3. He thinks V1 and V2 refer to energy drinks and sends troops to where he thinks they would land.
  4. He thinks that Ranger Training turns soldiers into park rangers and allows them to call in "bear strikes" instead of "air strikes"!
  5. He tries to send Naval Arty in critical situations when he has 0 TP.
  6. He tells his man to run away from the smoke screen because he thinks it is chloride gas.
  7. He tries to send bombers to attack but his TP is 0.
  8. He buys a tank, then uses Naval Artillery.
  9. He uses CAS while trying to advance.
  10. He believes all air medals will nerf the actual air-strikes instead of increasing their power
  11. He believes air commanders don't actually use their squads merely calling in wave after wave of ACS and bomb drops on the Axis and call them cowards,then realizes that their squadron mops up any survivors
  12. After insulting an air commander he will try and stop his forces with bomb drops and ACS,realizing that the air commander will call air superiority then call his own ACS and a bomb drop 3 times,wiping out any survivors with his squad.
  13. After calling an CAS the noob will move his forces to the upper half of the field,only to find his plane shredding his own men as well
  14. He believes the axis Flak Panzer can and will shoot his airplanes down
  15. If a Flak Panzer comes onto the field he orders tactical withdrawal on his signalers,he only does this though becuase of the above fact
  16. He believes Air superiority increases his air power
  17. He thinks even the grass or pond will hurt his paratroopers,so he never uses paratroopers.
  18. He thinks when he has a arty blitz he called it in.

What the N00B Thinks of Game Mechanics and History

Allied Unit
N00Bchanic/ Historian
Std unit allied mechanic idle.gif
No specialty icon
Starting equipment:
Average stats:
Health Rifle Exp Morale Speed
90 1 1 1 10px/s
Historian, Rule-Writer
Hehehe! This man re-writes the rules of the game, to fit his "historical" criteria, as described on the left.
  1. When he can't fight anymore , he doesn't let himself die to lose like men , he just gives up like a little girl.
  2. He survives an average of 5 waves per game.
  3. He thinks this game will treat him fairly.
  4. He thinks he is in charge of the German forces and is attacking the Allies.
  5. He thinks that he wins the game at wave 80.
  7. He thinks Mud and Blood 2 should have a M-16 rifle, M4A1 rifle, and M1 Abrams Tank .
  8. He thinks pushing the keyboard buttons "2, 6" will win the game.
  9. He thinks this is a cheap copy of "Modern Warfare".
  10. He thinks he can only play deploy game when he ranks up to MNB general.
  11. He thinks ideas under the forum topic "Humorous Suggestions" will actually be implemented.
  12. He thinks if you complete 90% of these "missions" it will make him max rank.
  13. He thinks killing Santa will make him be able to fire snowballs at the Germans.
  14. He arranges infantry in swastika formation and thinks it will scare the Germans.
  15. He doesn't know that he is commanding an allied squad.
  16. He saves up hundreds of TP's so he can buy a B-29 Superfortress and atomic bomb to "finally win the game".
  17. He is wondering why there aren't any railguns.
  18. He thinks the creator of this game is his wife.
  19. He thinks that A-bombs are practical battlefield weapons.
  20. He thinks that he is fighting a combined army of Russians, Viet-Cong, Brits, and Mexicans.
  21. He thinks that a "Healthy Dose of URB" means an easy game.
  22. He thinks that Mud and blood 2 is in Iraq
  23. He doesn't understand the concept of speed, and thus sends Signalers to get crates.
  24. He thinks he gets a nuke after killing 25 Germans. He never made it that far though.
  25. He thinks he is a combat medic

What a N00B thinks of crates

  1. He thinks that getting maps and new orders means he MUST advance.
  2. He thinks getting a detailed orders crate tells the enemies in the next 1000000 waves.
  3. He thinks crates with AMMO allow him to reload every weapon immediately.
  4. He thinks that 105 mm shells are good for his offensive!
  5. He thinks he can get an extra sarge in the crate.
  6. He thinks toothpaste is useful.
  7. He walks his men over exploded supplies because he thinks they can use them.
  8. He thinks umbrellas deflect grenades
  9. He never gets crates near him because of the quote "The unpackaging and assembly instructions are always inside the crate"
  10. He thinks opening crates damages the merchandise in it, because of the above quote.
  11. He wonders why crates explode into supplies, never body parts because there are soldiers in them.
  12. He thinks getting crates will give him three new troops, like it does with the Germans.
  13. He blows up crates to search for soldiers... If they gib with body parts, he sends medics to stitch him back together.
  14. He thinks that he can get a tank from one!
  15. He thinks that he will get magic powers from a crate.
  16. He thinks that the crates are mines so he commands his men to never go near them!
  17. He hates DO crates so much he blows up all crates with TNT.
  18. He thinks supply crates are care packages like in MW2.
  19. He thinks he can get an EMP, AC-130, or Tactical Nuke.
  20. He thinks crates are bunkers.

Other/Miscellaneous N00B Things

  1. He thinks that editing this page will corrupt it.
  2. He can't spell NOOB right.
  3. He thinks being a NOOB means he's good at MnB2.
  4. He doesn't know who Hitler is.
  5. He believes there is a rank called "N00B", unlocked after MnB General, allowing many rumored things to happen.
  6. He thinks rendering the song "Happy Happy Joy Joy" on Youtube will make MnB more fair.
  7. He thinks rendering the song "All You Need is Love" on Youtube will make the Germans stop fighting.
  8. He thinks rendering the song "Du Hast" on Youtube will boost Germans' morale
  9. He thinks rendering the song "Ensure Always" will boost the Germans morale more.
  10. He thinks taunting Waffen SS will make them cry and run away like Volkssturm.
  11. He thinks that a good way to increase effectiveness in CQC and lower friendly fire is to replace bayonets with rifle grenades.
  12. He wonders why that there are no FPS mode.
  13. He wonders why there are no boomer bile,molotov cocktails and the pipe bombs.
  14. He wonders why the Germans are attacking him.

Please help make this guide more complete by adding more and more failure strategies. So come on, people! Unleash Your Inner Noob! Please remember now that you have to categorize your scenario. Place where you like.

What Would A REAL N00B Do?

He would take this as a real guide and try all these strategies.

No more stuff after this point!

A to Z of MnB, Noobs must know this

Created by MuffinGrr

Word Definition
AH F***!!!! (aka grab your @$$es boys, aka when your ballz drop) Which is what you'll be saying when Urb decides to show off the inevitable "Wespe Blitz" wave. lol not even the bonus 100 tp will save you from the 10 Wespes that come down the screen like some sort of a plague.
Bersimon the chief mod
Cooldown the thing that has us ripping our hair out while waiting for concentrate fire
Death it is inevitable, all soldiers must experience it
Ecology seriously. stop blowing up trees
French the weaklings who are supposed to be protecting their Country
Gib the interesting effect when you give a unit some TNT
Hitler the guy that thought it would be funny to kill 6,000,000 Jewish people & 6,000,000 other people (total 12,000,000+ people)
Icky See "Gib"
Jeep your moving .50 HMG
Kar98 the basic rifle for the enemies
Leibstandarte the buggers that render your camnet ineffective
Mo-Tah (did i spell it right?)- the all-time most-poster, Mo-Tah had almost 4000 posts on UrbanProphet.
NEIN the word a German yells right before you shoot him in the eye.
Officer one of the most important units in your power
Panzerschreck Whiner
Quadrillion apparently the size of the German army you are fighting in this game
ReinFrenchments the Deputy
Samuli Vodka Connoisseur
Tazaraki the Sherrif
Urb the godly creator of this game.
Valthero Tiger Bait
Wespe this tank has ended hundreds of games from the time it was introduced
Xenophobia a fear of foreigners, it could be a possibility that Hitler was one of these
YES the phrase people say when they just got the Victoria Cross
Zomg the phrase that people type when they have just been owned. hard

A-Z of the wiki, these are things pertaining to the wiki

Word Definition
AvalancheO A new NCO and anti-vandalism
Branabus Wiki Officer, also anti-vandalism
Copyright Laws that force you to not copy information straight from a source
Deathbringer23 The second newest NCO, major contributer
Editor You are most likely one
Facepalm What you get when you say "l0l u shud ttly b abl 2 bl0w uP hItlr!!!!" in the suggestions area.
Grammar The #1 reason for minor edits
HTML Code used in the wiki
Hyyppa Newest wiki NCO
International state of the wiki, we're not all from one country
Joking Tolerable at limited levels
Kar98k One of the most re-directed to wiki page
Lockdown When too many vandals/spammers come here
Microsoft1122 Former picture uploader, NCO for a long time
NCO Can upload pics and protect pages
Officer can ban users
Promotions you'll get one when you need one!
Questions can be asked to any NCO/Officer
Riderx Wiki team leader and all-time editing # record holder
Soft A wiki where everyone can edit. Not here.
Talk pages sign these (--~~~~)
Upload When a file can be used on the wiki, reserved for NCO's/Officers/Admins
Valthero He deserves double mention
Watchlist pages you watch for edits
xHTML More wiki coding, good to know this
Yellow text this color is hard to read
Zundapp KS750 It's amazing how many redirects this page needs...


Founder: Trampek

Main Editor and major contributor: Riderx

Contributors: chooxh1259, AvalancheO, thebomb

Moderator(s) in Charge of Protection(NCO or Officer): Riderx and microsoft1122

Moderator(s) in Charge of Anti-Vandalism (Officer): Riderx

The N00B Guide Portal

As we all make more and more hilarious suggestions, I would like to unveil our newest addition, the N00B Guides page. Place strategies there if they are more "in-depth" than one sentence or so.

Terms Of Use

This page must have some regulations in order to keep everyone happy on such a controversial topic like this. Newly instated, follow these rules if you want to keep your edits in this guide

1. Don't state controversial topics (i.e. Global Warming, BARs good or bad) as false or true, without showing facts

2. Personal attacks are not acceptable. Place them on your own page if you want, but this guide is meant not to be offensive.

3. Don't use others' ideas without accreditation, it's plagiarism and it's bad.

4. Not a rule, but more of a suggestion: Use correct spelling!!! It makes editors mad to have to keep editing out grammar and spelling errors. Soldier is not spelled solider and the word "German" has a capitalized G.

Questions? Comments? Contact any of the staff members at their talk pages, or, for an overall suggestion, place that in the Maintenance Portal.

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